# Saturday, July 02, 2011

So I just watched Michael Bay's 3rd and hopefully LAST Transformers movie in a while, and boy did it SUCK!

Consider this your spoiler warning, because once again there's this GIANT BIG HOLE in the plot!

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So there I was trying to enjoy the movie by turning my brain off, until Mr Big Giant Transformer says "We used to be gods back on Cybertron, now we're just refered to as Machines!" I'm sorry? How is that possible? How is it that you can refer to yourself on your native planet as GODS? Who the heck refered to you as GODS???? That's just a wrong statement to make! If his main point was to point out that on Earth they're nothing but machines then he should just say that instead of making the god remark, cause that doesn't make sense.

And then by the end of the movie, the biggest plot hole was hit. Throughout the whole movie it was made a big deal about how Sentinel Prime was the only one who could control the Space Bridge, thus the elaborate plan to bring him back to life and what not. But in the final fight when the Space Bridge control pillar was knocked out all it took was the touch of a traitorous human to bring it back up, whatever happened to ONLY SENTINEL PRIME CAN ACTIVATE THE SPACE BRIDGE?!?!?! Don't tell me it's because that it's activated already then anyone can use it because if that was the case Megatron would have shot Sentinel in the back much earlier.

Other nit picky points when you think too much about it

So they first revealed that the space bridge would be used to steal Earth's resources back to Cybertron, ok, sounds like a good plan. Then it was, bring Cybertron to Earth. The fact that they were going to launch the space bridge pillars AROUND the world made me think they were going to just warp Cybertron in place to where Earth was which would have been more interesting than the actual plan... park Cybertron next to Earth, you can't park two objects with their own gravitational fields next to each other. The moon already affects the tide slightly, guess how big a problem another planet would cause?

The whole Let's enslaved the humans to do rebuild Cybertron premise is simply ridiculous! Because you don't get ants to build you a skyscraper would you? Also... note that the Transformers in the movies don't exactly have any sort of tactical advantage that gives them a one up against humans. The only advantage the Transformers have is their size, they seem vulnerable enough to heavy arms fire and explosives so trying to keep the humans under control would be a pain. Also... the Transformers have already demonstrated they're more than capable of creating mindless drones to help with tasks so why would they need humans as slaves?!?!?

Decepticons TAKING AUTOBOT PRISONERS!?!?!??! What madness!?!?! If it was shown earlier that these movie Transformers had ANY REGARD for life that would be fine, but at EVERY FIGHT, EVERY MOMENT, EVERY OPPORTUNITY they'll rip each others heads out, punch them till parts fly, etc. etc. So why the heck would the Decepticons take prisoners??!?!

They didn't even bother to give any reason to why Bumblebee STILL DOESN'T TALK PROPERLY!

Why the fark do transforming robots need TRANSFORMING fighters?!?!?!

Try and remember how many Autobots were pulling their weight during the final fight, as in before the final "Let's go get the pillar!" charge.

Try and remember how many Autobots were captured and grouped together, but how many Autobots were there when rescue came.

The whole movie was just filled with references to classic Transformers as nods to fans so that they can accept Mr Bay's genius. Here's what I caught

  • Optimus Prime gets his trailer.... and is promptly reminded how awkward it is to drive a full trailer offensively.
  • Optimus Prime gets his Axe now.
  • Transformers turn into dust when they die.... well at least one of them did.
  • The whole hidden joke that a giant robot voiced by Leonard Nimov makes Megatron his bitch, and then in end gets betrayed by Megatron leading to his defeat by the Autobots.

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